“The legally or formally recognised Union of a man and a woman in jurisdiction as partners in a relationship” is the ideal definition of marriage.
But the image from a husband’s and a wife’s view is different; something like this …
Wife speaks –
No one really told me that cooking, cleaning, and washing are the vital chores of being married! Not that I want to complaint about this, but for now, this is what my married life seems to be composed of. I like cooking, so we could rule that chore off, but cleaning and washing – NO WAY! It’s nice when the house is well kept, dusted, swept, and I’d like it to remain that way for a minimum of four to five days, but unfortunately we encounter a different scenario; i.e. THE HUSBAND.
I will explain that in a bit…
Coming back to the next chore, washing- washing vessels and washing clothes. If i cook breakfast, I’ve to wash the vessels, if it’s lunch, then also wash vessels and for dinner the same applies. It’s okay to do so, but everyday is a nightmare.
Why can this world be a lot easier where we get food baked/cooked in disposable dishes, and eat in disposable plates? Wouldn’t it make our life easier? Maybe the next generation shall invent something like this.
Coming to my earlier point on The Husband. Well, it’s either a complexity with them or they are habituated to do things differently. By differently, I mean, when he comes home from work or from out, his shoes are recklessly removed and just scattered, his shirts are sparingly kept in place, pants are either lying on the bed or near the dresser, keys are found on the dresser, or sofa, and above all, his bills- be it from the grocery or a recharge, it’s everywhere! Is it that tough to get that tush up and working, throw the bills in the garbage, keep shoes near the shoe rack in order, shirt on the hanger and pant folded..? When I’m on my period and in pain, he cracks these stupid jokes which get on my nerves because it feels like he’s neglecting my suffering. Grrrr…!
Marriage is surely not all of this… Where the wife cooks, cleans, and washes; adding to this, keeping his things in place and to a large extend even keep him in place. For almost everything, he says NO. Like as if he’s the smart cookie in the box.
Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I should also be as easy as he is, keep my things anywhere and everywhere. Probably this action of mine could get some spark into him where he’d understand the importance of having a well kept home, but a bigger scarier contradiction is, what if he doesn’t get the spark? Then I’ll have to do double the work!
A wife does it with love, even though it cranks her up most of the time, but again … Is this marriage?
Let’s see the other side of the coin.
Husband speaks –
Everyone told me that I’m being crucified, yet I danced at my wedding energetically! Damn! Had I listened to those with experience, I wouldn’t have to hear the wife’s voice at all today.
She cribs all day about keeping my shoes on the rack and my clothes on the hanger. Then it’s about the food she has to cook and vessels she has to wash! Every time I’m asked what I want to eat, I say ‘anything’; and bamm !! guess what – the grumbling begins! Its war.
If I say No for something, she puffs up. If I take a minute or two to do anything she asks me to, then she’s on the rattle.
To joke with her when she’s PMSing, is even worse because 99% of the time she takes it negatively. She screams when I correct her mistakes while she’s drives.
When we plan outings or have a party to attend, the colour of my clothes and “my clothes” is a major concern to her. She’s never happy with what I wear! No one ever told me that all of this comes with the wife in a package! Is this really marriage?
A good thing is, somedays she wakes up grumpy and other days she lets me sleep.
Leaving aside this ruthlessness, I love my wife. In simple language, I care for her and respect her.
I work hard to financially support us. Tired, I return back and just keep my shoes around with my clothes scattered. Not that I won’t keep them in place later but Just not now…
When I tell her to cook anything, it’s because I like her food and not because I’m least bothered. The taste of her food is yum.
When I say No for something, it’s because I know she could get it later at a better rate and in a better place or else it’s just something we don’t need yet. I don’t mean to offend her.
Joking with her while she’s PMSing, is only to enlighten and divert her mood from the pain.
But she doesn’t understand all this. Because it’s something we husbands don’t state.
So if we don’t state it and wives don’t understand it, does it mean this rattling grumble remains for the rest of our married life ?? Is this what marriage is about?
Arrrgh… Being the less expressive men that we are, I love my wife and I wish she could understand this… Sigh…
Since this is an everyday story…which is more like a whining emotion to each and every husband and wife around the globe; I’m sure there are aspects of gratitude as well.
Despite all of the above, our husbands are the most supportive people of the entire lot. They put up with our cravings and our moods. They are self indulgent in our tasks. They help us when in trouble and comfort us when we’re blue. Be it a period cranker or a super booster, they’re always by our side.
Being a quilt when it’s frozen, warmth when it’s cold, sweet when everything’s bitter and bitter when everything’s sweet.
They show us little things in the very big things. So maybe this is what marriage is?
Likewise, the wives wake up every morning to provide their husbands with a full fledged breakfast; and lunch packed, also seeing him off to work with a peck on the cheek; adding to this, clean up the house so that when the husband is back, he enters a clean a place and feels good; cook whatever he likes only to see content on his face(that is why she’s asks him). When he’s frizzy, wives pamper them so that he feels relaxed.
Statistics prove that Every husband feels like a king when he thrashes the garbage for it’s like he’s cleaned the entire house; every wife looks at them thinking – damn he’s a lucky man!
So basically in the end, it’s a bond that extends everyday because lawfully both get to annoy each other for the rest of their lives.
Marriage is probably knowing each other’s buttons and pressing them repeatedly when bored! From a funny tongue twister, to a nonsensical joke, they make their life more of a comedy than melodrama, which is a good sign of marriage : only the couple are not aware of it themselves.
Husband and Wife fit into Marriage like a puzzle. Intertwined in their own way, tangled in bliss, they are the perfect two.
So it’s not only about the household chores or the office work, it’s all about love. Love enfolds in their deeds and prayers. Cherishing one another rightfully and leading each other boldly is what makes them – ONE. Being married reflects intimacy, and pure refinement of soul.
Now That’s what a “marriage” is.