The Journey to Becoming Oneself

“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you will be doomed if you don’t try”
A dedication to BeSpoken…

In today’s world we are used to being disguised whether for the fear of rejection by others or for the fear of disappointing ourselves. Often we are really afraid to find out who we really are. But not always we are disguised or afraid. Sometimes we just go through life thinking we are something that we are not. We mistake the identity that we have created for ourselves for our real soul. And this is a big challenge on the journey of finding ourselves; not to be deceived by what seems to be our personality on the surface, but to dig deeper and find who we really are. Today’s World is one of the best places to embark on this journey.
But why is this journey known to be risky? Besides the fact that it is easy to mistake what’s on the outside for what’s on the inside, there are deeper, more important, and therefore more dangerous risksthat come with being oneself. In my understanding, one of those is the fact that others don’t always accept us for who we are. That is a well-known truth. However a less known, yet simple fact is, we ourselves don’t always accept us for who we are. So what is the danger of fully accepting not only our strengths but also our weaknesses that none of us is spared of? Everybody wants to be perfect, that is why. And with accepting and acting fully like ourselves and not superheroes that we all want to be, comes a high possibility of disappointment and confusion. What if someone who thought himself brave and courageous finds out he is in reality a coward? Imagine the disappointment and devastation that person must feel. Therefore, perhaps even harder, than finding out who we are, is accepting who we are. The answer is to embrace self-identity and love oneself wholly.
As cliché as it sounds, we cannot begin to try to understand the world around us without understanding ourselves at the deepest, most personal levels. I learnt this truth when I first read a passage on the topic ‘Women Empowerment’. The passage surrounded me, and proved to be a boost in self-confidence within me, that since then I didn’t look back. I walked each step forward and created milestones in my life doing my family and friends proud. One such milestone is starting my own blog; BeSpoken. I do not have a fan following but this does not discourage me from writing. Being a woman is one of the strongest forces I perceive and nothing stands parallel to my walk ahead. I remember being reserved within my thoughts and believed in the myth, ‘speaking your mind leads to the grave’; but ‘Bespoken’ has enabled developing my mind off these myths and achieve self-integrity. It is so beautiful to be the way we are, without fear and without limitations. From the beginning of time, philosophers, scientists, fortune tellers and all other people were searching for the truth; and all of it is greater than any of us will ever be, why not make ourselves, in body and soul, a small part of it?
I see myself as a woman of great finesse; and value honesty. I seek integrity in all that I achieve. The ability of being fair and honest is at the top of my list of values, along with the ability to be kind and compassionate. I have been at my best with those around me, but mostly have always been the best with myself. The most considerable progress in my journey is the understanding I developed with myself. Despite all influencesI have encounter and will continue to do, I have promised myself that I will never compromise on my morale and values.
It is easy to get carried away by the desire to be accepted among the society, but I have maintained the balance between being accepted and making yourself worthy of being accepted. A thin line between these two aspects; proves the comfort zone of an individual with himself/herself. Despite numerous temptations along the way, it is the perfect place to discover oneself with which comes the realization of one’s real dreams and goals, and to, ultimately, begin leading a beautiful life.
From a young girl, to a lady, a spinster to a home-maker  and to a headstrong woman; I’ve paved my path and carved my dignity with the pride I carry for all the greatness I have seen in my endeavours. Right from my struggling days to accomplishing my Masters degree, I’ve encountered numerous ups and downs, but in the end of the every struggle, I discovered victory with myself and it moulded me to be a stronger woman. My goals and dreams have helped me foresee a better person in myself and the same with the world. Instead of seeking to impress the outside world, I succeeded in impressing my inside self, to my betterment, and today I see an overwhelming warmth and ambience around me.
God has created such a beautiful and balanced world.  The core of our being- our souls are as beautiful as the world around us. I believe that only knowing, really knowing who we are on the inside will result in us being more in tune with the outside world. The journey of becoming and staying yourself always, despite difficulties, is not as easy as it sounds. But it is achievable if we make peace with ourselves. Having a wonderful supportive family around you, does wonders and I am truly grateful to have this benefit with me. Adding to my glorious endeavours and achievements, my family and close friends have been and will always be a vital part of the success – with me and myself, persuading my grit and determination in a positive atmosphere, enabling a stable journey and peaceful life.
Encountering disappointments and certainly experiencing a great deal of confusion along the way is commonly seen with everyone, including myself; but having the courage and character to continue despite difficulties is an achievement of oneself. It is a long, but rewarding journey of enlightenment; a journey that one day will lead to individuals’ true happiness and perhaps, if more and more people start to look into their souls for answers instead of their minds that workon ‘survival of the fittest’ principal, we will all live in a better world.
A quote that summarises my refined journey,
“The strength of a person is not measured by the impact that all hardships in life have had on you, but the strength of a person is measured by extent of your refusal to allow those hardships to dictate to you and who you become.”

– Adelene Coelho

About Adelene Dsilvahttps://adelenecoelho.wordpress.comIf you are in love with a writer, You will always live in their words.

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