When the Feminine world clashes!

(explicit content)

It is a proven fact that, on a regular basis, NO woman, immaterial of age has nice things to say about a fellow woman-being. Somewhere down the line, even if it is a one-time thing per day, a woman does have something bitchy to quote about another. Debateable much, many speak for the notion while some against. Let me remind those against the notion that you yourself may have spoken ardently about some other woman in your life. If you haven’t we need to debate on another Mother Teresa!

When the feminine world clashes, it is war! Unlike the masculine side, where they exchange unpleasant words, shrewd comments, and even hit each other but in the end come out stronger as buddies. Females are uniquely moulded to avenge. Knowingly or unknowingly, they have a way to always be better than the counterpart. As the saying goes, “Be a woman with a mind, a bitch with an attitude and a lady with class.”

Have you ever thought why we are this way? I don’t think so. But I’m sure that majority agree to me as I say, “Women are born bitchy”. You may not openly say “Yes I am a bitch” but you definitely prove it either while you’ve been exceptionally pissed off at someone/something or if provoked. Bitchy doesn’t mean bullying someone mentally or physically. It simply means GOSSIPING or CRITICISING behind the back.

Gossip and Criticism happen when one woman is jealous of another. Jealousy need not be in terms of physical appearance but can also be the flipped side of the coin, i.e. skill, nature, character, mannerism, etc.  Not all five fingers are the same, yet we try to make ‘em.  For the age bracket 7 to 13, young girls bitch about petty things like, ‘she’s worn the same dress as me or she’s got more chocolates than I have and/or my mom seems to fancy her more than me’. It’s a natural thing at that age because as parents, we drill it into their heads, to be better than the others. This drilling happens via comparisons and bribes – ‘If you do your homework, I’ll buy you a new pair of ballerinas or look at your friend, she is well mannered than you are’.

The next age bracket is 13 to 18. Girls hit their puberty button in rage like a game of hammer and that stone telling you how strong you are. They get moody, compulsive, aloof and divulge. The bitch-o-meter is upgraded to the next level. Here is more of a tackle situation.  Either the young girls are taught to be forgiving and welcoming or they are pushed a little further in contrast. They enjoy bitching on varied topics and it need not be confined to someone who has a ‘male friend’. It is usually a vast arena that gets into picture. Right from shabby clothing to high society diners, it becomes talk of the girl-town by default.

Following age bracket is 18 to maybe 50. We stop at 50 because women are now superbly moody and super experienced in the course of bitching. They know when to talk, about whom to talk and why to talk. They come in to light as a mentor to the growing generation. At 18, the boyfriends, sleepovers, riches, periods, parents, etc. are highlighted. Majority of the time, these bitchy conversations are filled with invaluable advice but it acts as a stress buster to the teens. They let off their steam and unwind like as if it’s a spa! Once married, the bitching shifts to an intermediate level. Gossiping about husbands’ bosses’ wives or even husbands’ friends’ wives is the trend. ‘She looks too fat in that dress; She’s not one bit presentable; She has attitude touching the sky; So what if her house is big?; she doesn’t know to cook at all; her face gets on my nerves’ are some of the minor things spoken of.

While walking back from the grocery store, I encountered a group of girls standing around the corner. One girl was in a short skirt and top, while another was dressed in jeans and t-shirt. The remaining girls were in simple pyjamas. I passed by them and eavesdropped on a few words they exchanged. See, I too am a bitch because I eavesdropped – something we shouldn’t do. But I belong to the feminine sector; it comes naturally.

So coming back to the girls, they were bitching about some girl probably from their school. They found it absurd that she had a boyfriend, apparently that kind of boy who was of a high standard. One of them said, ‘Ewwwww…have you seen her skin? Dusky as could be. She doesn’t even wear a lip gloss. He fell for her?!” and yet another one of them continued, “I know right? He’s probably using her. She may be easy bait”. Yet another said, “Whatever you say, she’s on cloud nine. Shows off like she’s won a trophy! What a bitch!” Ironic as can be, one bitch talks of another!

I’ve also come across women, who bitch about another woman’s appearance. Like, ‘she has big boobs to lure the man her side or her hips are big for booty call, curvy not yet there, sex appeal is zero, maybe she got a nose job or a boobs job done, etc.’ Apart from this, or you can say in lieu of this, they also speak about clothing; like ‘she’s wearing that top because her boobs scream out loud, or those tight pants are inviting and the tight fitting dress is to probe my ex-boyfriend’.  Some more popular bitching is done when ex-boyfriend is dating the so called acquaintance friend. Girls bitch saying, ‘she’s a bitch – she broke our girl protocol!’ WTF is girl protocol? I later came to understand that girl protocol is – not dating the ex-boyfriend of a female friend or acquaintance. Utter bullshit right? I agree.  If you’re not supposed to date an ‘ex’ then what are you supposed to do? Find a man who doesn’t have an ‘ex’ and more of that ‘ex’ shouldn’t be someone you know? Nonsense! Most women forget that it’s a small world. We encounter each other daily but subconsciously store the faces. Friendship happens when you’re conscious at making it happen. Ever had the feeling of seeing someone somewhere before? Yes? So that’s where it lies. Our Sub-conscious mind. One cannot keep a track of your face and assume you’ll be friends later so as prevention is better than cure, overlook thousands of men only to support the protocol.

All too often, females bitch about others because they are envious of what they possess or have achieved but do not feel confident enough or sure of their ability to strive for some of those goals. We bitch because we feel the things we really want seem scarce and beyond our grasp. We bitch because we are vulnerable most of the time. We rarely feel happy about the way we look, or the way we are treated. We find it much easier to put the opposite woman down and raise ourselves a bit. We’re definitely doing it wrong but we’re bending it anyway!

Now you may not necessarily belong to the weakling bitch category. You could possibly be the strong confident bitch – the one not afraid of anyone and cares nothing about anything at all. This category is looked at as the bully. They never intend to bully but with society tag lines, it automatically gets tamed into that category. Bullying is another level shit we wouldn’t want to discuss at all. We don’t belong there. The strong confident woman also bitches. She bitches about a stronger woman because she envies her or a weaker woman because she feels the weak don’t like to come out of their shell. Intentions are never to hurt anyone but it happens anyway.

Every woman is like minded. They all quote, ‘All women are bitches…except us! We are                sexy, awesome, amazing, intelligent and stunning. But all the others are bitches’ and deny the same blatantly. We all have an inner-bitch that can come out fighting like a raging bull on acid. As much as we hate to do this to people, most of the times we’re required to letting her loose. I, myself am a bitch. Just as mean, vulnerable and envious as you are. And I accept it openly. There is no denial in it; Just one thing that confirms it, “I am fulfilling my genetic destiny”.

-Adelene Coelho

About Adelene Dsilvahttps://adelenecoelho.wordpress.comIf you are in love with a writer, You will always live in their words.

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