That day was one moment they both had, and it always remained special, more like her-all-time-favourite. At that time, she never thought what impact it would leave on anyone if they found out.
It was a spur of the moment that they encountered – a little sprawling romance and it will be cherished without a second thought. It was full of enthralling passion because they were still left inside each other despite the rough patch they went through. The time they shared was one in a million because it had a mix of the feelings, right from, the hatred and anger melting down to tears and intimacy.
Just before Abhinav left, he hugged her tight for the last time and everything changed… She wanted to trust him again and believe in him when he said it’s special but she just couldn’t. Those words people spoke at school kept coming back to her. She felt like a laughing stock. She was sure that Abhinav would be proudly boasting in front of his friends about his actions. She was sure Abhinav’s words would be, “Revenge taken”.
The night before she left the country, she met up with the entire group of “frenemies” and while talking about the thought of wanting to meet Abhinav, she was told that she should just drop the idea because he is on a revenge spree and will do anything to humiliate her! Bingo! She was already on the path of humiliation then. He took sweet revenge!
Not taken aback on hearing that, this was something totally expected from him. ‘How could he even think of doing such a thing?’ was no longer was Agastha thought. Instead, ‘he proved everyone right again’ was what crossed her mind. The slight assurance she was starting to have in terms of him, was swished aside. She was a fool again.
One second she was smiling and sounding all happy because she had shared a great moment with him earlier that day and next second she felt like this chicken before being slaughtered is pampered and then behead.
I wanted to tell her friends about the fiasco of the morning but feared their reactions would have been difficult to handle right now. So she decided to keep it to herself and walk ahead with the thought that ‘another-time pass-memory-full-of-revengeful-faked-feelings’.
And that’s when she also decided
‘I WILL NEVER LOOK BACK TO THIS DAY OR THIS FEELING EVER AGAIN’
She bid goodbye to everyone in that room and walked back home. She felt cold that night but comforted herself to a new beginning.
Flashbacks of the last 3 years continued on the empty wall in front of her bed. Some made her laugh, some made her sad. She saw a lesson learnt in each one of them. The friends she made, she had no clue which one of them would even last till the end. To an extent her friends also thought of her as a lost cause. She was well versed about it but pretended to know nothing. She had Abhinav to deal with and anything added on would only make her feel worse. She looked back to the days when life was a mere misery; she had considered suicide as an option. A strong headed girl as she was, actually considering cowardly options made look like an ass.
She didn’t know what else to do. She thought it would help her find peace. No more worries and no more issues. She assumed even Abhinav would be at peace. No one would even remember a girl named Agastha in their lifetime. She only wanted to end it all.
That empty wall in her room brought back memories that showed her how life can twist and turn. It taught her to be strong. She closed her eyes to these thoughts.
The next morning she woke up bright but not really excited. She wanted to speak to Abhinav. Again with a stupid hangover from the previous night’s wall gazing, she felt like just hearing him one last time. She didn’t like this feeling of never crossing paths again but that’s how it had to be. From home to the airport, she kept checking her phone looking for a message from him but nothing came. She typed several messages to send him but didn’t forward anything. She typed and deleted all through the waiting hall. She checked his name and messages but nothing came through. She thought, ‘This is it’ when she heard the announcement to board the flight.
Phone switched off…
She’s on her flight back to India for further education goals.